More Than a Hobbie

I'm watching the final round of THE PLAYERS Championship...for the 3rd time this week.



I keep the yardage guidebook for Spyglass Hill on my nightstand and I read it at night before I go to bed. It warms my heart.

What do you dream about?

Mother Ashley

Ashley is the best mother in the whole wide world for the same reason she is the best wife in the world. She is loving, thoughtful and selfless. But to understand the loving and selfless person Ashley is you have to see her in action.

Saturday morning at 6:30 am when Charlie cried and she jumped out of bed saying to me "It's your day, you go back to sleep." This was after getting up multiple times with Charlie the night before.

You see, yesterday was my Saturday. That's our plan. Tennis, the gym, golf...whatever I wanted to do. Next week Ashley gets hers. Every other week we trade Saturday's with one of us responsible for Charlie and the other free to do whatever they please.

When I finally rolled out of bed at 8:30 she had already been up for a couple of hours with Charlie. She smiled and said, "What are you going to do with your day?" She was excited for me in a Carpe Dium sort of way. Ashley takes little thought for herself, and truly enjoys knowing that others are happy.

After a game of tennis and a trip to the gym, I came back home to find Ashley building our emergency kits for when the bird flu strikes. She had Charlie in one hand and waterproof matches in the other. When I tried to lighten her load by taking Charlie, she said, "Today is your day, I'll take care of Charlie."

And last night when my family came over after dinner in downtown Sunnyvale Ashley offered to bathe Charlie (normally my job) so I could spend time with my family. Then she dressed him for bed and rocked him to sleep (not an easy chore).


Yes, Saturday was my day. But the truth is, every day is my day. That's the way she makes me feel. I think that's the way she makes everone feel.

Ashley believes in making people happy, especially me and Charlie. She says nice things and does nice things, because that's the way humans should be.

She also gives good gifts. Thoughtful ones with a gift receipt. She never pays less than her fair share of the tab (in fact she'll pay for all of it if you're not careful). She believes in gushing and complimenting people whenever she can. She also believes in charity.

This week alone she has made dinner for a neighbor with a newborn baby, sent another dinner to a nearby family who has fallen on hard times, given $20 to a man who needed money for gas, spent an afternoon with a wayward young girl, fed the missionaries twice and if I had let her she would have given them all my double fudge brownie ice cream too (I had to draw the line).

As a mother, Ashley is second to none. None I say! Straight up, Charlie is the luckiest child on the entire planet. Charlie is a sweet kid, but he can be downright ornery, loud, stubborn, temperamental and just plain difficult. It's not his fault, what with all the teething, the growth spurts and poopy diapers. Regardless, his demanding lifestyle is enough to drive any parent insane (seriously). Yet, all Ashley can do is love him more each day. She never complains. As a matter of fact she tells me almost daily that she loves her life and loves spending time with Charlie. She can't wait to have another baby. She also can't wait to be a grandmother.



In a world with many selfish people (me included) Ashley is one of those rare ones who lives for others. She would deny this, but its true. I am so glad she is my wife and Charlie's mother. Yep, Charlie and me are pretty darn lucky.

Clear Expectations

Mr. Dickens can have his Great Expectations. I'll settle for clear. And clear is what I got. I know of noone who more clearly communicates expectations than Ashley.

Just moments ago she leaned over my shoulder and said, "Just in case you're wondering, I'm expecting something for Mother's Day. Would you like me to give you guidelines?"

No, I don't want guidelines, but I do appreciate knowing what is expected of me (even though sometimes that approach can be a bit tacky).

When I tell her I love her, she says, "Why?" instead of "Thank you." or "Me Too." She reminds me that I need to say or do more for her sake. She expects gushy proclamations of love and adoration. When there's not enough gush on my end (almost always), she tells me. It's the same reason she has a "To Do List" for me (my idea). When she wants me to do something, she tells me, or writes it down. It doesn't get much clearer than that.

Other things I know Ashley expects of me:

• Take the trash out to the curb


• Bathe Charlie at night


• Earn a decent living (enough to make sure Charlie has a nice home and cute shoes)


• Mow the lawn


• Be a loving dad & husband who holds up his share of the household responsibilities
  

The list is a little longer than this, but its not about length or greatness. I just appreciate that her expectations of me are clear.

I Prefer

Cheese to green beans, work and paying bills.



This blog posting was inpired by my wife Ashley's blog It's Good To Be Ashley Carter

Work, Work, Work

Everyone I know has a signature quote from someone they admire. I just found mine. I read this while reading the New Era today (a church publication I haven't read in about two decades).

"Work, work, work is the key to getting things done, the key to success in life. There is no substitute for work, for getting up in the morning and getting at it and staying with it to get the job done. I don't know of a greater asset for whatever lies ahead in life than the capacity to discipline oneself to work."

- President Gordon B. Hinckley, The New Era, March 2007

All Apologies

I've gotten pretty good at apologies over the last 3 years. My latest apology came just yesterday when I hijacked Ashley's blog. I thought the whole thing was hilarious. She didn't. Just hours after I took over her blog I was "compelled" to give it back, and all evidence of my brief ownership was promptly removed.

The whole situation remindeds me of another time I thought something would be hilarious, but wasn't. It involved a trick cigarette lighter that shocks its victim when touched.

It was my first Christmas with Ashley and her family. We were out to dinner with her family. The whole family; Parents, siblings, aunts & uncles, grandparents, cousins...they were all there.

During dinner her cousin passed me a lighter that was actually an electric shocking device. I thought it would be really funny to try it on Ashley (first mistake). Since we were holding hands under the table, like newlyweds do, I figured I could just slip the lighter into her hand without her even knowing (second mistake). It would be the perfect surprise. It turned out to be a huge surprise, but things didn't play out quite like I imagined.

After Ashley shrieked she threw one of the hardest elbows I've ever seen in my direction. Then she started to cry. The stares and silience that followed are probably the darkest, most embarrassing moments I have ever experienced.

By the end of dinner the situation calmed down a bit. Ashley's dad never decided to press charges and Rex (Ashley's heat packing FBI brother) didn't take me out in the alley and shoot me. But that little 'prank' remains to this day the most uncomfortable, embarrassing thing I've ever done.

Identity Theft

You can never be too careful about identity. Stolen credit cards, social security numbers and the like. But what about one's blog identity? Has that ever been stolen before? It has now...

http://www.itsgoodtobeashleycarter.blogspot.com/