Ashley is on the couch sleeping with Charlie right now, helping him take the much needed afternoon nap that he refused to take alone. It's an uncommon moment of silence, but a very typical act of selflessness by Ashley.
She is the ultimate unsung hero and the reason our home is such a happy one. When she cares for Charlie, buys emergency supplies, pays the bills or cleans the house she doesn't toot her own horn. She helps out because help is needed. She says kind things because it makes people feel good. It's just what she does.
I'm not as good at being nice and helpful as she is. I'm not a cold-hearted meanie, but I am a great nit-picker. Ashley doesn't give me much material to work with, but I am guilty of fault finding way too often. For example, just a couple hours ago I gave her chided her for not charging her laptop. I said something like, "You know, if you don't want your laptop to die so often you might want to plug in the power cord." It's a pretty tame remark as most of my criticisms are, but I don't think hundreds or thousands of these over time is going to get me or her anywhere.
It wouldn't be so bad if I also doled out compliments as frequently as I do snide remarks, but I don't. Compliments aren't second nature for me, rather they are usually conscious attempts at doing the right thing. And I don't think I'm alone in this. I think most people find criticism easier than praise. I also think that criticism is the easy way out.
Fortunately I live with someone who does things the hard way and I'm hoping it rubs off on me. I think she hopes it will too.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Nit Picker
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5 comments:
It's true that you don't gush out the compliments, but you really don't complain or criticize much either. I have actually been thinking lately that I should be doing a lot more around the house (and the kitchen) but you never make me feel bad about it. Which I consider very very kind of you. You are incredibly easy to live with. I will try to plug in my power cord more often.
Tyler, don't be so hard on yourself. You're good enough. You're smart enough. And doggonit, people like you.
Funny. Don't worry a lack of confidence isn't the problem here. I think it's a lack of humility : )
so in this post you're saying a bunch of stuff that you obviously recognize, but don't show ownership for. Is this post a way to motivate yourself, state an observation on the way you live, or merely state publicly what virtues you admire in others without intention of changing in yourself?
Just had a few thoughts and put them down.
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