Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Live and Let Live

I grew up with parents that were anything but overprotective. I'm not sure whether it was because they just trusted me that much or that they just didn't have the energy. Either way I had a wonderful childhood with relatively few safeguards. I hope I can be half as trusting(naive) with my kids as my parents were with me.

  • (Age 6) I walked a mile (0.9 miles) to school and back from the time I was in the first grade, without adult supervision. I still remember stopping with my friend Jared on the way home from school to play in the basement of an abandoned house. Good times.
  • (Age 6-7) We had a great big field behind our first house. We used to spend hours in that field making forts and playing games. One of our favorite activities was to go back in the field with our bow and arrows and shoot them straight up in the air to see how close we could get to the arrows when they came down. Of course my parents never knew that, but it certainly made for some fun summer days.
  • (Age 8) By the time I was eight we had moved into a house my dad built. One thing I loved about this house was that it was never locked. There was no need to ever knock or search for a key hidden under the mat. Our door was always open, literally...for nearly 10 years. I still miss the open door policy.
  • (Age 11) Part of the joy of growing up was having an older brother that taught me things I wouldn't learn from school or my parents. Like the fact that some run-of-the-mill fireworks can be turned into some serious explosives if you squeeze them in a vice hard enough. Warning: don't ignite them while still in the vice.
  • (Age 12) I was a skater in the 6th and 7th grades and that meant building ramps and modifying accessories for our boards. I loved that our garage had more tools than I knew what to do with. Skill saws, radial arm saws, grinders, etc. I think I enjoyed building as much as I did riding. I also enjoyed the fact that my parents trusted me with tools.
  • (Age 14) My dad used to let me drive the truck in the back yard and sometimes down the road to grandma's house. It was a thrill. Not to be outdone, my brother put me behind the wheel of his manual transmission Nissan Sentra, cold turkey, and had me drive him and my sisters home from church. That was a tradition that I think we all passed down to each successive sibling.
  • (Age 16) My parents had good reason to trust me. I was a good kid. They even trusted me enough to let me drive a van full of my friends 4 1/2 hours to the Sierras in the middle of winter to go snowboarding. Of course I got my first speeding ticket during one of those trips, but I still appreciate that my parents gave me that much responsibility and feedom.
  • (Age 17) By the time I was a senior in high school I think I had gained the trust of my parents. As a result they never really held me to any type of curfew. All I had to do was call to let them know where I was and when I would be home and they would let me stay out as late as I wanted. I respected their trust and I never lied to them about where I was or what I was doing. It was a system that worked.

7 comments:

Mitch said...

I love it! Your parents and my parents were on the same page. Which one do I hope for??... (1) me be as good as my parents or (2) my kids be as good as me.

Unknown said...

teach correct principles & ...

I just think the first 8 years are HUGE after that...shoot they won't listen to me. by the way thanks for comment on my wifes blog...things are good hear sorry to be a spur in your boot...I'll ask my wife not to post any more pics,so that your wife won't be tempted;)

Unknown said...

Go Lakers!

Molly said...

Did you just describe my life? I used to walk down the street to Braden's house alone when I was 2 or 3. No joke. We used to light little fires in the back yard. I took apart the piano because I loved screwdrivers and taking things apart. And I always told Mom and Dad where I was going and called if I was going to be home late. I honestly can't figure out how our other siblings didn't catch on to that. If they had just called, they wouldn't have gotten in trouble.

Molly said...

Wait. The lighting fires was a new subject. Braden and I didn't do that when we were 2. That was me, Ashley, and Larissa in junior high.

Chris said...

Exactly what age does a kids statute of limitations end? It's a good thing I follow these blogs. Dad and I are getting up there in years and still haven't heard some of this stuff! good thing you all turned out so great. Thanks for the compliment?? Tyler.

JoAnn said...

If you choose to give your kids freedom, be careful. Your kids may be good kids, decent, responsible and trustworthy, but is the rest of the world?

I miss the days when life felt safe enough to allow kids these kinds of freedoms. But it just isn't safe to do so these days. I would NEVER allow my kids that kind of freedom today, especially where we live. Maybe out in the country, but not here. Here we have a level 3 sex offender 1 1/2 blocks away and several more within a half mile radius. Twelve year old, Zina Linnik, was kidnapped from the alley behind her home last year while she watched fireworks. Her father saw it happen from the kitchen window. She was raped, murdered, and her body tossed into some brush. She lived one mile from my family. She's just one of many sad stories. No, there's no way my kids will get that kind of freedom in today's world.